Just keep in mind that while being truthful to each other is crucial, it should also be done in a manner where the truths can land in a safe place. This requires both parties to learn how to approach and handle uncomfortable topics in tactful ways so that you’ll feel secure and encouraged to be honest with each other continuously in the long run.
Being in a relationship shouldn’t mean neglecting your own hobbies, wants and needs. In fact, setting time aside to do things for yourself and have proper self-care, can help to promote healthy boundaries and the overall health of your relationship. As relationship expert and author of That Which Doesn’t Kill Us: How One Couple Became Stronger at the Broken Places, Charlie Bloom, reminds us – our responsibility to provide for our own well-being is as important as my responsibility to others.
It is essential to recognise that conflicts are part and parcel of relationships, but not all conflicts have to escalate or leave significant damage to your relationship. The key is to know how to manage and resolve conflicts in a healthy and respectful manner. Here is some general advice to keep and remember when you’re all riled up in an argument:
If what you need sometimes is a little “me time” to recharge yourself so that you’ll have enough energy and mental capacity to further nurture your relationships, do it!
Listen – as much as you have strong convictions about something, your partner’s views deserves to be heard as well.
Make sure you’re fighting fair – keep the focus on the issue at hand and respect the other person. Don’t start arguments over things that cannot be changed.
Don’t attack someone directly – use “I” statements to communicate how you feel. E.g. instead of “you make me feel bad”, try “I feel bad when you…”.
Ask yourself what role you played in this issue – instead of reacting to your partner with an emotionally-charged response, take time to think, reflect, and develop insight into why and how this issue arose in the first place.
Don’t drag old arguments into the mix – rather than looking to past conflicts and grudges and assigning blame, focus on what you can do in the present to solve the problem.
Honesty builds trust between you and your partner, and sets your relationship up for better chances of success
Give yourselves “time outs” – if the argument gets heated, the conversation cannot be productive and naiset Haitin there’s a higher chance for someone to do or say something they’ll regret. Take a few minutes away from each other to calm down and have a think before you talk about the issue at hand again.
Know when to let something go – if you can’t seem to reach an agreement, and it’s not a non-negotiable boundary or issue to you, you can choose to disengage and agree to disagree.
Building on the previous point, healthy relationships are built on compromise. It helps for both parties to know what’s truly important for each other and themselves because it leaves more room for empathy and compromise. Partners must make an effort to ensure that there’s a reasonable exchange between the two, which helps to reduce anger and resentment for either party.
For many, physical intimacy is an important aspect in a committed relationship. That includes sex, hand holding, hugs, kisses and other forms of affectionate touch. Just as how it’s advisable to purposefully carve out quality time for you and your partner, it can also help to schedule or plan regular couple time or date nights if you both have busy schedules. Physical intimacy can help boost the production of oxytocin and dopamine in our brains, which can strengthen feelings of connection, bonding and trust between couples. The process of sex itself also helps strengthen relationships due to open and honest communication that’s required during the act.
